Dreaming

“She’s one of the worst we’ve seen Rapha, the poison is so entrenched in her heart, surely there can be no hope for one so toxic, her blood is thick with it. The barbs are sharp. She cannot hope to survive the treatment” 

“There is never anyone beyond hope, show her. Lead her dream” 

The skeleton eyes have been chasing her through the forest. Dead and broken trees continually try to slow her progress and prevent her escape. She runs and runs, her breathing irregular and laboured; how long has she been running? Her heart pounds faster and faster. Fear is driving her to run; yet she cannot move fast enough. She looks behind her and the bloody gums are still smiling at her. She trips and falls to the ground, her adrenaline spent, she cannot move. She hears the breathing, can sense the eyes staring at her. She curls into a ball and covers her face with her hands. The breathing draws closer and closer, the hot breath rustling her hair. A cold hand reaches out and forces her hands down. She shuts her eyes tight. A soft chuckle fills her ears and she begins to cry from fear. She feels a cool sensation run over her body, and the breathing of the creature is gone. Hesitantly she opens her eyes. She is alone in the forest. There is a light further down the path, and she crawls towards it. She emerges into a sunny clearing. Dazzling blue skies surround the oasis. She looks back and sees the path to the dead forest closing. She can feel the peaceful rest the soft green grass beckons her towards. Yet her heart is unsettled. She does not feel easy here either. She walks forward to something that is shimmering in front of her. Soft bulrushes surround a perfectly round and clear pond decorated with large pink water lilies. The smell is heavenly. She sits by the pond and lies back, staring at the puffy white clouds. Her heart is pounding still. Her nerves are on edge. There is something about this place that is making her uneasy. She sits up and dips her toes in the water. She leans forward to look at her reflection. She screams and thrashes away from the water. She feels something sharp enter her arm, and she floats away from the clearing. Her dreams become hazy and unfocused and her sleep becomes restful. 

“I told you Rapha. She may not be strong enough”

Afternoon

Her heart is racing. Fear is pounding through her veins anticipating another attack. The floor is cold and hard; every movement causes pain to dart from her head to her feet. With extreme hesitation, she pushes herself into a sitting position. Her heart skips a beat, then another, then another. She takes a deep breath in and steadies the pulse. She sits for a moment, and then slowly gets to her feet. She steps forward to the door and looks out the window. A face appears in the door window opposite her. The face is haggard. Deep purple bruises mar the skin under the eyes. The sockets are defined by the emaciation that is evident. The lips are dry and cracked, the skin red around the mouth from a tongue hoping to provide some moisture. The hair is wispy and white. She recoils from the window and takes another deep breath. When she looks back, the face is smiling maniacally with a mouth devoid of teeth, the gums spongy looking and bleeding. She feels the burn of vomit and turns and retches all over the floor. She pounds on the door in an effort to scare the face away. She hates the face. It is grotesque and repulsive. As she pounds at the door her heart fills with another wave of heat. Her chest tightens and her pulse skitters out of control. She sits in an attempt to stave off the barrage of pain. It is no use. She feels her body stiffen as arrows of agony radiate from her heart. The heat builds and builds until she feels as though her heart will turn to ash. She screams over and over, tears streaming down her face in confusion and utter incomprehension. As the wave of pain subsides, she hears the metallic door open and footsteps approach her. She has the sensation of being carried, and she feels the softness of the bed envelop her. Her ears are pounding with aftershock. She hears murmurs and the door closing, the smell of her vomit no longer present. She closes her eyes and drifts to sleep, visions of bloody gums and skeleton eyes to haunt her into the night.

Day 2

She doesn't remember when she fell asleep, yet she awakes. She can still feel the echoes of deep and immense pain shuddering through her. The wails and screams of the night have quieted into moaning. Her body has regained control of itself and she opens her eyes. Vivid and brilliant white greets her eyes and she squints against the brightness. After a few moments, her eyes adjust and she looks around. The ceiling is not the only white that greets her eyes. White walls, white floors and white bars on the windows surround her. The steel door that keeps her in has a window, and she commands herself to go stare out. As she moves, excruciating and incapacitating pain forces her to the floor. Heat fills her heart and uninvited tears stream down her face at the torture her body is inflicting upon her. The sound of rapid and ragged breathing fills her ears. The pain is too intense. She works to get her breathing back to normal. As the pain leaves her chest, she stands and regains her bearings. As she turns to the door, another attack cripples her body and she collapses once again. She cannot help herself this time, the pain has doubled, and a guttural scream escapes her lips.

Day 1

Flashes of light dance over her eyes as she is wheeled down the hallway. Moans and screams can be heard coming from various directions assaulting her ears. Her brain is sending her signals to open her eyes, but the very effort drains her, and she is unable to comply. Her heart is pounding faster and faster. She takes a deep breath and her mouth tastes air that is dead and decaying. Muffled voices of the people pushing her bed distract her from the screams. She hears words that confuse her: drugged, poison, undetermined condition, segregation. The lights have ceased dancing, and one single light now beats down on her. She hears the sound of locks being opened and chains rattling. Her brain sends her new signals to mover her hands and feet. Again, she is unable to comply. The sound of a heavy door being closed resounds within her, the electronic beeping signalling she has been locked down. Time passes, how long she does not know, but the light over her fades and is eventually gone. Her heart continues to pound faster and faster. A deep apprehension comes over her; she doesn't want to be here. Every fibre of her being is shouting out to escape. It is fruitless. Her incapacitation prevents it, the locked door assures it. Sleep eludes her as pained screams and wails fill the night with their torture. 

Broken Wings, Conclusion

The day has become ecstatically beautiful. I can hear birds chirping and calling to one another as they rush through the sky. The breeze ruffles my hair and I know that I am ready. Ready to leave. Ready to escape captivity. The heat from the sun has dried the walls of my prison. I run my hands across the rough stone and begin my ascent. Where the climb had at first seemed challenging, my determination overcomes resistance. I reach the top and pull myself out of the hole. I lay on grass that is as soft and sweet smelling. I close my eyes and soak in the warmth of the sun. I lay for hours, feeling the path of the sun as it moves across the sky, feeling the wind as it whispers through the grass and trees. I open my eyes and rise. As I smile at my surroundings, I gasp as I feel the exquisite silk of my wings flutter against my arms. They gently lift me off the ground and I am elated. My journey to freedom is complete. I am whole once more. No longer will I be held captive. I am free. 

Broken Wings Pt. 5

The elements have shifted. No longer do they mock me and laugh at my captivity. My refusal to be overtaken has brought them into submission. The sun which this morning had been cool and distant has burst into radiant heat. The breeze that drifts down into the hole and swirls around me is warm and gentle. It ruffles my hair and I tilt my face to the sun; drinking in its glorious might. I dance with the breeze, twirling with the sheer ecstasy of the freedom I have found within myself. The sun moves across the sky lazily, allowing me to soak in every radiant beam. The sky turns to brilliant shades of pink and purple, the sun disappears, and in its places takes the majestic night sky. The stars and moon are magical. I watch for as long as I can until my eyes drift shut. Peace washes over me.  I wake up from a deep sleep to the exquisite orange sky of the rising sun. Unimaginable joy rips through me like a tidal wave. I will leave this place. Soon. 

Broken Wings. Pt. 4

My scream has given me some measure of strength. It has made me angry at the elements that are determined to hold me captive here. The cold seeps into my bones and tries to drag me back to the ground. I resist the impulse to fall back, to give in. No more. My anger at my prison ignites the spark deep within my soul to fight back. My sorrow has had its season. As I let my sorrow leave me, let my anguish become a memory, the tattered and broken remains of my wings fall off. There is a renewal at hand, and I gasp at the simplicity of the motion. Am amazed at the simple power that letting go of my burden has given me. I lift my hands to the sky and scream in triumph. No more. No longer. I will be renewed. 

Broken Wings Pt. 3

The wind howls around me, as I lay shrouded in my tattered wings. The brittle cold is continuously sapping me of my strength. I rise to stand and face the insuperable barrier that stands between my freedom and me. The sky has lightened from deep red to a bleak orange, yet the wind continues to howl. I feel my throat tighten in preparation to cry again, yet nothing drops from my eyes. I have no tears left. There is nothing left inside to give. I hear an unnaturally loud and soul piercing noise, and as I cover my ears, the sound becomes internal. I am screaming. As my breath runs out, the screaming ceases, and as if the elements can sense my defeat, the wind gives a final roar and is silent. I stare up at the sky and wait.